Monday, April 22, 2013

Teresa Cooper ~ Trust No One!

Teresa Cooper 

Trust No one

My Review of Her Book!

Teresa's book is a true story, a very true story that opens ones eye's about "Places" that Children get put when Parent's can't afford to take care of them. No one really likes to think about those places, but yes, they exist. 

You're also supposed to think that you're Children are safe in the hands of Children Services, as they are often referenced here in the States. They go by multiple names, HRS, CPS, whatever initials they want to use, they are suppose to the be here to protect the Children.  

Or um....

So we think....

England, apparently is no different from the United States of America, which leaves me to wonder about other Countries too. And I wont lie to you, I actually used to put England on a pedestal. However now I see that their Child Care system, just like America, is something left to be desired! 
Teresa Cooper 14 years while in Kendall House

This book is very eye opening, and as I am reading it, things start happening, and I am thinking to myself, as they are happening, "You know what- I bet she's being raped." But then I am like: "No, it can't be, it's gotta be something else. I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill." You know the routine, "I watch too much TV!" 
Teresa is the one with the BLUE DOT this is NOT in Kendall House!

Well low and behold, I was right, and Teresa wasn't dreaming it, she managed to wake up during one session and there they were not one, but two men! And of course, no one believes her! 
PLEASE NOTE: Teresa has NO mental disorder what-so-ever prior to going to KH

I end up hating "Kendall House" along with several characters in the book. I want to climb through my Computer screen and bash some skulls! I so very much hate bullying! Bridget and Nicole were such haters, thank God for Jules. 
All the drugs KH felt the need to put Teresa on
The reaction that Teresa ended up having, hating her own life, I imagine most of us would've had the same reaction. Persistent bullying, constant medications that make you unable to function, raped, unable to eat, Parents that couldn't afford to take her in. It seemed to her like no one loved her, and wanted her. To her, her life had no meaning what-so-ever.
Behind this door Teresa spent 163 days at one time, once with NO light bulb!
She started cutting herself, over and over again. She ran away many times, only to be unsuccessful. And yes. she managed to even run away once, to be with her Father, only to discover how he lived, stayed with him a day or two, tried to contact her Mother by Phone, and she couldn't even get to speak to her that time, because of one of her Mom's boy friends. She had no choice, but to go back, to the place she hated most, along with her friend.
Proof Teresa was sexually abused while under the care of KH
The details, are intense, she remembers so much, pain, agony, loss. It is so heart wrenching. You will cry, you will feel everything.
I laughed only in one place:

When her Father was beating her so badly, and screaming at her at the same time. While in doing so, his teeth flung across the room. Teresa, although in a lot of pain, couldn't help but laugh as his teeth landed across the room. At first her Father looked, then was stunned, but couldn't help but laugh too. They both ended up laughing together, and as luck would have it, this was the end of that beating! At least one good thing came out of that, well three actually. A place to laugh in her book, a stopped beating, and they laughed together!

All in all, you truly need to read this book, because it is a total exasperating book, that will open your eyes in so many ways, and leave you totally baffled! I am not kidding.

In the end, you want to join Teresa's fight and stop the drugging of Children whom are under the care of the Government. It is not the way to "Control" a Child, and or "Discipline" a Child, just because you don't want to "take care of them!"

I give this book:
 five stars
 it is a definite mood changing eye opener, that the World needs to read!

My Review Questions for the Beautiful:

 Teresa Cooper: 

1. Do you still have night mares about Kendall House?
Yes. I have regular nightmares about Kendall House although I dream a lot about various aspects of my life. I remember all my dreams on waking. They feel very real. I have never been able to shut them out.

2. Have you ever found any of the Children from your past, from Kendall house, since you have became an Adult?
Yes. I have had contact with twenty five Kendall House girls who were drugged and abused. I find it difficult because I feel responsible for each and everyone of them because I exposed the abuse. All their children have birth defects and all the KH girls are ill.

3. Have you done any interviews regarding Kendall House?
Yes. For UK media.

4. Have you done any book tours?
No I haven't done any tours as my publisher and agent do not arrange such events

5. Is Kendall House the only place drugging the Children in England that you are aware of?
The forced drugging of children is a widespread problem in England although UK media is very behind in exposing it. It is also a serious problem in the United States although there is a lot more media support in exposing the forced drugging. Many children's lives are destroyed because it such a traumatic experience physically, mentally and the side effects of the psychotropic drugs.

6. Since you have written your book, have any other people. or Children came forward telling you their stories about being drugged and/or raped while in the care of places "like" Kendall House?
Yes there have been many adult survivors contact me although mainly from the USA because it is widely publicized by the media and public. England is far behind in the exposure. It was first exposed in England 1979 and remained ignored to this day by the police and Government who felt it was not their problem despite the children being in corporate care. It continues to this day although behind closed doors. I continue to expose the abuse but until it is seen as abuse there will not be any change in the near future.

7. Did you use real names, or aliases in your book?
I used aliases to protect the Kendall House girls abused but also because the police requested the staffs names to be changed and their true descriptions to, in their opinion, avoid anyone fabricating any event or identity if/when making allegations of abuse.

8. Is your Mother still alive?
My mother is deceased many years now. We never regained the mother and daughter relationship. The English care system destroyed our relationship with lies when I was still a child. It is very hard to rekindle the bond once its broken to that extent.

9. Your Foster Father "Doug" were charges ever brought up on him? Or did he get away with his Crime(s)?
His real name is Brian. He was never charged as he was in at least one meeting with social services, at least two with Kendall House and the police failure to investigate also contributed to him avoiding prosecution at the time. It was re-opened in 1994 for that reason. He was arrested and despite being told not to contact witnesses, he contacted them. They let him get away with what he done to me a second time whilst the same police department were prosecuting him for similar crimes to another young person put in his care after me. He was put on the sex offenders register. I wasn't aware of it until after.

10. Do you "think" the people at Kendall house actually knew the Children were being raped & didn't care, or do you think they were actually oblivious to the fact? Be honest.
Yes they did know because they documented the injuries, took swabs in-house that came back as sexual infections and they ignored it as did social services who were also informed. They were also fully aware the drugging was a total misuse but they continued to do it anyway. Before I went to Kendall House it was exposed in the media after a small number of staff made complaints but it was ignored by the Government and was allowed to continue. It was first exposed in 1979 via a newspaper and TV LWT documentary as seen on youtube

11. Do you still have scars all over your arms?
From my wrists to shoulder on both arms there are hundreds of scars. Most don't show now unless in sunlight or if I get a sun tan as it tends to make them more visible. I am used to them and the bigger ones on the wrists I cover with bangles if I go out. Most people don't notice them unless they look for them. Jules name is visible on my left arm though.

12. How long did it take for you to return to your normal healthy weight and height?
I was very damaged when I left Kendall House physically and mentally. It took around two years to recover from the withdrawal symptoms. It was terrible. I grew to 5'10 (five foot ten UK height chart) by the time I was twenty one years old. I remained underweight for many years. 
Another beautiful picture of Teresa
13. Do you receive Counseling after all of this?
I did have counseling once when I was around twenty two and I only attended three sessions. The therapist cried on the 3rd session which upset me as she found it hard to hear. She also had a questionnaire I had to do every session. I was happy to answer the questions but I refused to change my answer to one question. I refused to accept my abusers were mentally ill and that I must feel sympathy for them. I did not feel sorry for them because abusing others is not a mental illness. They do it by choice and free will. The therapist didn't feel I could heal unless I accepted my abusers suffered from a mental illness and I should in some way feel a sense of sympathy for them. It wasn't going to happen so I stopped attending for that reason. 

I had therapy 2 years ago and I was on the waiting list nearly three years before I was seen. I didn't attend many throughout that year but the sessions I did attend, I found very helpful. Sadly therapy ends after one year where I live and I needed at least three years. I was with a bad partner so the sessions became about him because he was misusing my childhood abuse to control me in a very negative way. The therapy helped me understand a lot of things. I wish I was able to continue with the same therapist as I trusted him a lot but we are not allowed to see the same therapist a second time on NHS once the year is up. I have never trusted any psychotherapist or psychiatrist since Kendall House so it's a great pity I am unable to reconnect with him given the trust I developed with him. If I was given the chance to receive therapy I would grab it with both hands because I need it. Probably now more than ever.

14. Have you since been diagnosed with anything after all of this trauma? Like PTSD  or anything from all the hell you went through?
I was diagnosed with BPD and PTSD because of the abuse at Kendall House and forced drugging. Naturally I do not agree with the diagnoses as I do not appreciate the psychiatric system giving me a label for something they are responsible for. Yes it has affected me.

15. Does anything in your past, effect your life today, still? Like cause you to sometimes flip out for no reason, or sometimes just break down and cry, etc.

My past has often caused me problems that can't be avoided. There are too many to mention. It tends to be other people who use my past against me or judge me when they don't know me. Things I do for example... If I drink alcohol, sedated for any medical reason or anaesthetised for surgery my mind associates it with being in KH and I literally relive the abuse in my mind as if its happening. It's very traumatic. I am not sure how that can be changed. It's probably too deep for normal therapy. 

I am a very strong woman and I can take a lot more than most and get back up again but I do hide away and cry sometimes. More often than people think. I can tweet on twitter and all of a sudden my happiness turns to tears very fast. I deal with so much abuse on a daily basis, it's a lot for the human mind to cope with alone whilst trying to deal with my own abuse and behave the way others expect of me. Sometimes I just want to be myself and have timeout to do or say something that's not associated to abuse. I am a fun person and like laughing but it shocks people that I am able to laugh so I don't laugh as often as I would like to. I am a people pleaser. Then I feel miserable because I do worry what people think of me.

16. Can you share with us any pictures from your Childhood, if you have any?
There are a lot on twitpic (Twitter name is @TeresaCooper) & Deneale snagged a few photos for this interview and review from twitpic!

17. What are you doing today, to help enlighten the World to these issues?
I have been fighting and campaigning twenty years now and I have done so much I don't even know where to begin. I dedicated my adult life to campaigning. I don't tell people most of my achievements because I don't feel I need too. I support survivors who contact me, all the KH girls, legal fights which I tend to win, my book, publicity, research and the list is endless. I fight/campaign every day of the week 365 days a year and when most are asleep I am writing emails to the government and many others including survivors.

18. Please provide us with links to your book(s) your web site info, and any extra info you can give us about you, and your book:

amazon uk

My book is available on all good online book stores and to order in book stores

I found THIS when I researched Kendall House Online! Simply Follow the Links to learn more:

Here they interviewed Teresa: 

Thank YOU Teresa! Obviously YOU were meant to do good things, and God has wonderful plans for you. I personally thank you for this opportunity to have read your book and interviewed you. Although I cried, and had one little laugh, I still feel close to you, and am honored that you have allowed me to do so. You are a wonderful woman, a strong woman, and a God send! May the Lord bless you, and may you keep doing His glorious work! Thank you again, and again!



Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sascha Illyvich~Burning for Derrick

Burning for Derrick
(Not yet released)
by Sascha Illyvich

My review of the Book:

As I began reading, I was immediately pulled in, which for me, takes a lot. Ordinarily I get bored easily, I won't lie. But right from the beginning, I am drawn into the book, and feel as if I am right there. Not as thought I am the Character, but as though I am sitting there watching him, as I read along through the pages, so much so, that I can smell the cigarette smoke in the air of the bar.....

The words aren't just words as I am reading them, it is written so intensely, so descriptive, it is as though I am there, I can feel, hear, smell, and even taste.
 The music being played in the bar, death metal, the drink he's drinking: Manhattan. He meets with the bartender, who had hired him, and agreed to give him free drinks, if he agreed to do the for him.

Derrick was just glad to be out of his house, he himself a single Shape shifting Puma. He was not into Death Metal Music, but something about the Music was making him notice it.

Here, live on the stage, a beautiful woman was singing her heart out, and she was doing something to Derrick. Calling him, making him-- he wanted to go to her-- fortunately Rob stopped him and told him, no, not until after, and fortunately Rob had brought Derrick back to his senses.

The woman on the stage, is Sonja, Rob's sister. She is who Derrick is being ask to protect. She is a Goddess Witch, with amazing powers, and there are people who want to seek her out and destroy her, or use her as their own weapon.

Human's do not like nor approve of Shape Shifters, and Witches aren't supposed to mate with them. The Russians want to use the Witch and her mighty power to end the race of Shape Shifters, and another Shape Shifter, is going to turn on the Russians, because she was made into a Shape Shifter, not born as one. 

This Shape Shifter is the most evil of them all, and just may cause the death of everyone. 

Within this book, there is so much to look for, watch for, and see, and worry about. There is magic, heart ache, love, romance, sex and even death. 

Your feelings will go in so many directions, you will not know which way to turn from one minute to the next. One minute your fantasizing about the romance and love making, and the next minute, your worrying if they will make it through the night. 

And at the end, the worst part is worrying, will she honestly sing her heart out, and do what they told her to. I was sitting there on the edge of my seat going, "Oh God, Sonja, please no, Don't do it. Don't do it!"    

I found this book a very edge of the seat, moving, I couldn't get enough-kind of book. I would've kept going, and reading forever, that's how pleased I was with the entire book!

 Five stars!

My Interview Questions for

Sascha Illyvich:

1. How long have you been writing?
 13 years roughly.

2. How many books have you written?
I think I'm actually at over 40 novellas right now.

3. Obviously erotica is your passion, but exactly what is your favorite part about writing about it?
I can't really say I have a favorite part about writing erotic stories other than the ability to use my imagination or play with fantasies I might be too chicken to live out.  Or in reality, there are no true shifters/vampires etc.  Not in the same sense of how we think of them anyway. 

4. What exactly led you to write erotica?
The more I thought about this the more the answer truly was "So I could get laid."  But not like one of them pretentious assholes who says they write highbrow erotica but someone who truly understands human sexuality. 

5. Do you answer fan mail, and if so, and yes I'm being serious, because you write erotica, have you ever had any letters where people have written to you saying sexual things to you? (You don't have to answer this, if you don't want to!)
I do answer fan mail.  And let's say I've had some interesting email conversations over the years. 

6. Out of curiosity, does writing erotica ever "turn you on?" as you are writing it? (feel free to ignore this question if it offends....)
If it's a really hot scene and the inspiration is from someone I love or care about (or have fantasized about) then yeah I do get the urge to take matters into my own hands just so I can diffuse my pressure.  Warning, all people are fodder for writers. 

7. When you read books, do you too, visualize the scene in your mind?
Yes I do indeed.  If the writer has done their job well then this is easy. 

8. Do you read erotica?
Not so much these days.  Mostly I read erotic romance, cigar and wine trade magazines, when I have time to read.  Which, isn't a lot sadly.

9. Who is/are your favorite Author(s)?
I'm really loving Rhyannan Byrd's BloodRunners series.  Before that, JR Ward, Joey W. Hill have special places in my heart. 

10. Where did the idea for this book about "Burning for Derrick" come from?
Oddly this may read like an episode of Burn Notice but the idea for this story started a few years back.  There was a former publisher this was targeted at because I knew the editor and she promised me a slot.  The premise originally had to do with a drink (an Old Fashioned) and how the bartender set up odd couples.  Over time my plate became full on other current projects so I put this one back because I had nothing more than just that idea.  It would be two characters that shared a common goal, to be in old fashioned love.   Somehow, over time I grew angrier with life and the story took a different road as I realized it just needed to be written.  My two characters became jaded, real.  The heroine grew into a witch who fronts one of the larger Death Metal bands in the US, the hero, an ex spy. 

11. Why did you make Derrick a Puma?
Might have something to do with pumas being something I like and are different enough for the readers who enjoy shifter romances.  I had been teasing a friend about writing a puma story for months and when this idea had time to be written, it had a different title.  One afternoon I was smoking a cigar, in fact it was the "Puma" by Gran Habano from their Azteca line.  When I realized what I'd done and the timing of both writing the book and smoking the cigar it just seemed funny and kinda like fate stepped in.

12. The cigar smell described in this book, cocoa and something else, is "that" what "you" smoke?
Yes.  Those cigars are Don Cervantes, put out by ACC Cigar.  Cocoa, earth, sweetness, dark chocolate.  That'd be the flavor profile of the Tres Maduro which Max smokes.  Derrick is more of a Masterpiece Platinum guy because he enjoys the slightly earthier notes.  Plus, the maker of the Don Cervantes line is a friend of mine and a chance to name drop for him is one I'll take when I can. 

13. The character Sonja where did the idea of her come from?
I just started listening to Devildriver and Katatonia about the time I started this book.  I wanted a vocalist for the heroine, one who could sing as well as scream.  But the scream had to work for me, because I’m very picky about my music.  Mostly vocalists.  I wanted a singer who could be believed could carry the power she had, plus go forth with the Slayer tribute at the end.  I wanted someone who possessed Angela Goscow's terrifying screams to meld with the power I created behind the heroine.  She needed to be a little unsteady too.

14. Why did you choose Russians to come after them?
Why not?  In Communist Russia, They come after the Russians! 

15. As you were writing the ending, were indecisive as to what choice you would personally make for the ending?
You must have heard my rant about killing off people.  The final non Russian villain is actually based on someone I had the misfortune of meeting online.  I'd make a stupid comment about a certain holiday in May that involves drinking and piƱatas and she branded me a racist.  Seeing how that's not true, I decided my villain would be racist and I'd kill her because she hated shifters.  Believed they were an abomination and Gods Will was to kill them.  What I WANTED to do was violently kill someone who pissed me off.  I wanted to kill her violently, sort of in the style of what you'd find on Metalocalypse.   The book after all is a "heavy metal" romance.  But I didn't want readers feeling the brutality would eclipse the romance I built up, so she just got knocked out and taken into custody.

16. Can you please provide for me all of the information as to where to find this book, links etc? (If it hasn't yet been released, can you provide a release date or estimated one?)
Currently, this book is in the loving hands of Saritza Hernandez of Corvisiero Literary Agency and is being shopped around.   I imagine it'll probably have a Winter 2013 release or early Spring 2014 release.  By the way, I'm currently editing Max's story.  I think you'll enjoy that one as much as you loved Burning for Derrick, since it's Derrick's brother's story.

17. Any last words or thoughts you would like to share:
Nothing really special.  I'd like to thank all of my readers, both old and new.  You make this career worth every agonizing minute and I'm forever grateful. 

18.. Now can you provide for me your own personal links, web site information, etc, so readers can learn more about you: (I do read as much as I can when I'm enjoying a cigar and libation)


Thank you Sascha, for allowing me to do this for and with you, it has truly been an honor. I have learned a great deal, and had a wonderful time while doing so!