Saturday, January 2, 2016

Is This Your Man? by Colin Tate



Is This Your Man?

By: Colin Tate

Ordinarily when I receive and or buy a book, I usually go to my devices and make sure that it came through. Than sometimes I take a glimpse at the book, just to see what it is I am getting myself into. I kind of have a line of how I want to do things, and sometimes I have interviews I am awaiting on their return from Authors. Regardless, sometimes things sit here moving along slowly. But I do have a way a that I like to do things, and I often feel bad when I drop everything when a book comes in, and I can’t put it down, and ruin my plans.


Why am I mentioning this to you now?


Because this book, “Is This Your Man?” blew my whole scenario out of the water, the instant I picked it up. I only glanced at it, when Colin sent me a message through facebook. I informed him the price he quoted me was wrong, it was in fact lower on Amazon, and not because of my Unlimited. So we talked, and I agreed that I wanted to read the book, and I ask if he wanted to be interviewed. He had no problems being interviewed. So I purchased the book, and from there I couldn’t put it down.


I have never read a book that was so spot on, that I could visualize every scenario that he went through. I have dated, and I watched my Children also date. And we all know, each and every single one of us, is different.


He tells us about the six types of men there are in the field of dating. And then he defines them for us in the easiest way to understand, plain simple English.


1.     “Baby boy- Grown ass man that refuses to grow up. (not to be confused with the  Mama’s boy!)”
2.    “Online Player-Uses social media and any other internet tools to play his woman.”
3.    “Total Package- The man that has you doing things that you normally wouldn’t do.”
4.    “B.S.er- The King of Bullshit and empty promises.”
5.    “C.E.O.- The man that will abuse you physically, emotionally, sexually, verbally or financially.”
6.    “Chameleon-The man that can be all things to all women just for S-E-X.”



Now don’t think because I have told you here these six types- that's all you need to know, because trust me, there is so much more to this book! You need to read it cover to cover and understand everything!


Colin tells you how to see, and figure out, and escape these things, and how to understand the relationship you are in. He also helps you to move on, and see that you are worthy of more that what you think you are.



Most of the problem today, and what Colin says is the truth, and I quote “Physical/ Emotional Insecurity is defined as a person having a very flawed character trait as a result from low confidence and low self-esteem, often due to rejection or a humiliating experience as a child…” A lot of people, not just women have issues with the way they were brought up. This could also be why the man has decided to become the way “he” is. Everything and every way we are, all stems from the way we were raised, and then stems from who we decide to be now.


I truly fell in love with this book, and so much of it, was so life like. I shared it with my daughter, pieces and part, not that she took any of it in. Love is stubborn, and love is blind. I remember being young and in love. I remember my parents always slamming on me, and telling me how stupid I was. They wanted me with someone else, all because he was in the Military, they expected him to retire in the Service. They didn’t care that I wasn’t in love, they wanted me financially stable. Here I am thirty five years later, the man never spent his life in the Military, married like five times over, and I have been happy and faithfully married for thirty years. Did I do the right thing? I’m happy, I think that’s what counts, sure it wasn’t perfection in the beginning and it still isn’t perfection, but the choices I could have had, to me, were not the wiser- the choices they were trying to force on me. The grass is not always greener on the other side. And money is not the answer to happiness.



Dating is not easy, it never is. Especially now of days, with diseases, and criminals, and everything. I could no way in hell, date in today’s world.


But reading Colin’s book, it was so eye opening, I wish I would have had this book when I was younger. I want everyone to read it. I truly think they should. Especially if you think you are in a bad marriage, or relationship, you need to read it. You need to find out, if “This is your Man?” Because this book can guide you in so many ways. There is eight hundred numbers within it to call if you need help, guidance, and suggestions to lead you in the right direction. This is what you need to succeed. And it is so hard to believe that this book is written by a man, because it is so true and on point, but it does prove that there is such a thing as honesty upon men.


I give this book five very, very big stars. More if I could. It definitely needs a bigger star scale, it deserves it. This book is utterly amazing. I have never been so pleased and fascinated with a book in all of my life. I read this book in less than an hour. I was totally impressed, and I couldn’t stop bothering Colin through the messenger as I read it. I am truly honored to have done this review, and interview. This was the most impressive, open and honest thing I have ever read in quite some time. If you have any kind of issues in your relationships, or know of anyone that does, and you give relationship advice, I suggest you buy this book immediately!



Here are my questions for Colin:


(*Personal Note from Deneale: I want you to know, that yes I did ask a personal question during this interview. Maybe my openness will help some of you. Maybe not. But I had to know. I hope you don’t mind.*)

1.               1.How long did it take you to  write this book-   research, all of it totaled?

It took me about five years to write this book. What mainly took so long was finding men that were willing to come forward. I had men that would tell me no and literally slam the door in my face when I approached them about sharing their stories.  I would have men say that they would do it but pull back at the last minute. I even had one of the men who finally agreed to be in the book and allowed me to publish his story, turn around and try to stop the book form coming out because he started having second thoughts.

2. After reading this, I can't help but ask.... Are 'you' married?

Yes I have been married to my beautiful wife for almost 2 years.  I’ve found that being married gives me an even better perspective on the needs and concerns women may have.

3. Do you counsel couples or just individuals?

I mainly focus on individuals. My passion is helping women to recognize why they keep picking the same men and why the same men keep picking them.  I help them get to the root of what they’re doing wrong to contribute to why they are single. Now once they find their husband and there still maybe issues, then you have to reach out to Dr. Phil for the one.

4. Has anyone told you that this book helped them?

Absolutely. That is the reason I wrote this book is to help people. It makes me feel good when a women who was once lost, confused and at the point of giving up reads my book and the lightbulb is turned on. I love how their hope is restored and they realize the error in their ways and eventually find love. My mission is that this book will reach millions of women across the world and change their thoughts and perceptions they have about men. I had one woman tell me that this is the best relationship book she has ever read.  So being of service and helping is my mission.

5. What all education have you had?

I have a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with an emphasis in Psychology.

6. I nearly died when I read the spaghetti and the myth/or tale. I've never heard it before, where did you ever hear it? (And I've heard a lot of myths and old wives tales!)

LOL, this an old myth in certain communities mainly in the African American community. It is believed that if a man will ingest a woman’s minstrel that he would fall in love with her. Again this is only a myth

7. I've been married for 30 years, in the beginning my husband and I weren't perfect, not saying we are now though. But we had a LOT of issues in the beginning, mainly because of family. But anyway. You mentioned changing. My husband and I both changed. And I don't mean that we matured either. I mean that I literally had to change, I was an abused closet child and he was a rebellious teen. And in order for us to become one, we had to mediate. We married and had a child at 18. But you mention not to change for one another. Is what we did wrong?



Absolutely not. My point in saying “don’t change” is don’t change the core person you are inside just to please a man.  For example, I’ve met women that have changed or alleviated a religion for a man, I’ve even seen women alter their body parts just for a man.  Now in any relationship there is always going to be some form of change and give and take. And for you and your husband, the fact that you both experienced challenges growing up, it was imperative that you change up some things. Because doing the same thing expecting a different result is insanity.

8. You mention not having to ask for advice if it's the perfect relationship. What about those who always have to have everyone's opinion? There are those kinds of people- for real! What about them?!

There is an old saying my mom used to say, “Sometimes in relationSHIPS you have too many people on board”. Meaning that when too many people are in your relationship, it could be a problem. I always believe you must seek advice from someone you can trust and will not judge you for whatever decisions you make. For example, if you confided in someone about something your husband did and it really upset you. Is that person you confided in going to treat your husband differently after you have decided to forgive him? So you must be careful of the person who you get opinions from in regards to your relationship.

9. No relationship is ever perfect. Am I right?

That is correct, no relationship is ever perfect. The goal is to find someone that meets the key things that you are looking for.

10. Is there such a thing as sexual partners not fitting one another? Therefore they cannot have a relationship because of the sex not working out. True or false?


This is very true. I’ve learned that when sex is going good in a relationship, it only represents 10% of the relationship, but if sex is bad it represents 90%.  I think it is very importantly that a couple is compatible spiritually, emotionally and also sexually. On the other hand, just because someone has amazing sex doesn’t mean they will make an amazing companion. But sometimes because the sex is good the judgement is clouded. I always tell women to follow their instincts and ignore their emotions. Their instincts are screaming to leave the situation but the emotions want them to ignore it.

11. Please share with us your links to follow you on social media, and find your books:















Is This Your Man?Is This Your Man? by Colin Tate
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Ordinarily when I receive and or buy a book, I usually go to my devices and make sure that it came through. Than sometimes I take a glimpse at the book, just to see what it is I am getting myself into. I kind of have a line of how I want to do things, and sometimes I have interviews I am awaiting on their return from Authors. Regardless, sometimes things sit here moving along slowly. But I do have a way a that I like to do things, and I often feel bad when I drop everything when a book comes in, and I can’t put it down, and ruin my plans.

Why am I mentioning this to you now?

Because this book, “Is This Your Man?” blew my whole scenario out of the water, the instant I picked it up. I only glanced at it, when Colin sent me a message through facebook. I informed him the price he quoted me was wrong, it was in fact lower on Amazon, and not because of my Unlimited. So we talked, and I agreed that I wanted to read the book, and I ask if he wanted to be interviewed. He had no problems being interviewed. So I purchased the book, and from there I couldn’t put it down.

I have never read a book that was so spot on, that I could visualize every scenario that he went through. I have dated, and I watched my Children also date. And we all know, each and every single one of us, is different.

He tells us about the six types of men there are in the field of dating. And then he defines them for us in the easiest way to understand, plain simple English.

1. “Baby boy- Grown ass man that refuses to grow up. (not to be confused with the Mama’s boy!)”
2. “Online Player-Uses social media and any other internet tools to play his woman.”
3. “Total Package- The man that has you doing things that you normally wouldn’t do.”
4. “B.S.er- The King of Bullshit and empty promises.”
5. “C.E.O.- The man that will abuse you physically, emotionally, sexually, verbally or financially.”
6. “Chameleon-The man that can be all things to all women just for S-E-X.”

Now don’t think because I have told you here these six types- that's all you need to know, because trust me, there is so much more to this book! You need to read it cover to cover and understand everything!

Colin tells you how to see, and figure out, and escape these things, and how to understand the relationship you are in. He also helps you to move on, and see that you are worthy of more that what you think you are.

Most of the problem today, and what Colin says is the truth, and I quote “Physical/ Emotional Insecurity is defined as a person having a very flawed character trait as a result from low confidence and low self-esteem, often due to rejection or a humiliating experience as a child…” A lot of people, not just women have issues with the way they were brought up. This could also be why the man has decided to become the way “he” is. Everything and every way we are, all stems from the way we were raised, and then stems from who we decide to be now.

I truly fell in love with this book, and so much of it, was so life like. I shared it with my daughter, pieces and part, not that she took any of it in. Love is stubborn, and love is blind. I remember being young and in love. I remember my parents always slamming on me, and telling me how stupid I was. They wanted me with someone else, all because he was in the Military, they expected him to retire in the Service. They didn’t care that I wasn’t in love, they wanted me financially stable. Here I am thirty five years later, the man never spent his life in the Military, married like five times over, and I have been happy and faithfully married for thirty years. Did I do the right thing? I’m happy, I think that’s what counts, sure it wasn’t perfection in the beginning and it still isn’t perfection, but the choices I could have had, to me, were not the wiser- the choices they were trying to force on me. The grass is not always greener on the other side. And money is not the answer to happiness.

Dating is not easy, it never is. Especially now of days, with diseases, and criminals, and everything. I could no way in hell, date in today’s world.

But reading Colin’s book, it was so eye opening, I wish I would have had this book when I was younger. I want everyone to read it. I truly think they should. Especially if you think you are in a bad marriage, or relationship, you need to read it. You need to find out, if “This is your Man?” Because this book can guide you in so many ways. There is eight hundred numbers within it to call if you need help, guidance, and suggestions to lead you in the right direction. This is what you need to succeed. And it is so hard to believe that this book is written by a man, because it is so true and on point, but it does prove that there is such a thing as honesty upon men.

I give this book five very, very big stars. More if I could. It definitely needs a bigger star scale, it deserves it. This book is utterly amazing. I have never been so pleased and fascinated with a book in all of my life. I read this book in less than an hour. I was totally impressed, and I couldn’t stop bothering Colin through the messenger as I read it. I am truly honored to have done this review, and interview. This was the most impressive, open and honest thing I have ever read in quite some time. If you have any kind of issues in your relationships, or know of anyone that does, and you give relationship advice, I suggest you buy this book immediately!

View all my reviews